Little children, headache; big children, heartache. – Italian Proverb

Oh, life…how you often times get in the way.

I’ve reached that point in life where my oldest has really started to “teenage”. In a lot of ways he is like me. He prefers to keep to himself – quiet and secluded. However, he also bottles emotions and lets them fester. We had an argument of epic proportions yesterday which has led to a standstill on where our relationship stands. You see, he has chosen to live with his grandparents. Not only are they control freaks, but they also couldn’t be bothered to keep me in the loop. You add the fact he is a teenager, he is already thinking about college, and is obsessed with ROTC what we are left with is a teenager who I rarely see anymore, who ignores me, and spends more time talking to his girlfriend than his mother.

This all would be tolerable if he lived with me, but now its become unbearable. What hurts most is I learn major events from his girlfriends mother.

I’ll admit it. I wish they would have never started dating. She apparently was crying last night because “I hate her” and she “hates that she came between my son and I”. Really? But you weren’t concerned about that when you were on the phone with him all those times on my time, or especially last night when he was dealing with the loss of a friend. At no point in time did she encourage him to talk to me or spend time with his mother or siblings who desperately miss him yet she sees him daily.

At this point, I don’t know what is going to happen between my son and I. I’m rather tired of being a second class human being in his life. I’ve taken his phone away and had it disconnected. Why pay for a phone that he uses to contact everyone BUT me? Why keep giving him chances to hurt me and my children? I’m so hurt and confused.

Meanwhile, I’ve been trying to get my mobile IN HOME photography together. I’m starting out with acquiring for infants. It’s a slow, expensive project…but it is coming together. I need to update the settings on my dot com and display my costs for services at some point. I’m just not there. I also get offended at times when I’m told I’m too pricey. My AVERAGE photo shoot costs between $100-150. It includes my time, expertise, photo editing, and all digital images from the photo shoot. Target alone can cost nearly that much for just a few poses with no rights to copy. I know my worth, thank you.


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